50+ single guy here:

The oasis is often just over the last dune you reach when you have run out of water.

We first learn what we don’t want before we learn what we do. It took me a long time to learn that I could not be with someone about whom I was not crazy. Just because a person seems good for you doesn’t mean it is going to work – your friends mean well but they are selfish and conservative; their counsel needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

One of the most surprising things I learned was that the women who were older were much more sexy and fulfilling to me than the younger ones. If they took care of themselves reasonably well, they were hotter than the 30 or 40yr olds by far!!! I might date someone as much as 10 years difference in age but the ones who were within 5 or 3 years (either way) were invariably much better in all respects than the younger ones.

The baggage people come with is enormous as well. Regarding older women, the control that their children (even older ones) often exercise over them is hard to understand (and incredibly selfish). The damage that people have sustained through their social relationships is hard to believe too. There is so much trauma and drama. The effort it takes to tear down the walls of Jericho is exhausting and often a mission in vain. You have to continue to make the effort to meet people if you want results but finding the right person, like so many other things, is usually serendipitous.

But if you sabotage your circumstances such that a relationship is made more difficult, you really only have yourself to blame. If you quench your loneliness by living through your children, by living with them or among them, or if you hang out with a pack of dogs, don’t expect a lengthy honeymoon or one at all. New relationships need water and sunshine..........not Alpo.

Good article.

Remember, you cannot call yourself a hopeless romantic…without hope 😉