I am a bit like you. When I got divorced, I went out on a ton of dates (mostly meet and greets). I could tell in a very short amount of time whether I was going to go on another date with them.

I had my own deal killers and I vetted my dates extensively before going out with them. I had come from a long marriage. That is what I was used to.

Over the course of about 6 yrs, I had two longer term relationships. In each, we loved each other very much. In the first, her family issues interfered so much in our relationship that we couldn't make it work. Her kids were determined not to let her be with someone else; very spoiled and selfish.

In the second, our ability to resolve disputes did not work (and we tried very hard). There just was too much drama and trauma. I couldn't live that way.

No matter what, there has to be a certain amount of chemistry. If it is not there, I don't know how you can make it work (although many do, it seems).

I think there is a huge number of walking wounded out there. They have been bashed and battered so much, they are reluctant to commit to something.

Consequently, as you have observed, many people content themselves to being with their friends and family. They would rather choose no one over someone who doesn't fit neatly into the mold of what they are looking for.

You have to be willing to compromise on your wants and needs. People are made in discreet packages. The ideal man or woman are just that, ideals. They don't exist in nature.

And there are an awful lot of Shallow Hals and Halles out there. There are many people who cannot tolerate blips in life. Let's face it, when you are older, there are going to be more of them.

It is important to understand how your stock is trading and to be with someone of a similar market value, so to speak. You learn those values through rejections.

Looking forward to your next piece.