I feel your pain, Bonnie.,

You probably have some serious geographical, cultural and other challenges. Some areas have much fewer. In CA, e.g., certain population areas are so dense, it is much easier to find "The One," as it were.

That said, I (M 50s) decided some time ago that I had to have that kind of "spine tingling" feeling (or a strong expectation of it) fairly quickly with someone or I wasn't going to pursue it. I figured that I could work on parts of a relationship that needed sandpaper but I could not create chemistry ex nihilo.

Like any marketplace, and it IS a marketplace, you have to be out there to win. No lottery ticket, no jackpot. In addition to online dating there is exposing yourself via classes, sports, hobbies, etc.

The more you date, the better you get at identifying what works for you. But you must strike while the iron is hot, as you know. You must know your relative value in the market.

You are a very attractive woman in addition to your other assets of intelligence and writing skill but someone has to be able to recognize and appreciate those assets, and that, alas, may be how your geography, etc. is retarding your progress..

Good luck; keep writing; we all need the benefit of your experience and penmanship!! ;-)

Chance favors the prepared mind and those prepared to a chance. L. Pasteur.