My recent ex GF was as you describe. She was very anxious and angry and tended to push people away. She also projected wildly her own anger and derealization on others (me). Very hard to penetrate; very hard to deal with.

Her denial was the final straw because without some acknowledgment that white was not black, or some culpability on her part of problems, how can you begin to solve?

I got tired of apologizing for global warming.